"Unsafe Sleep"

The largest cause of infant death is unsafe sleep. I would know. I lost a grandson this past week. Learn from us so it doesn't happen to you or your loved ones.

This is the hardest post I’ve ever written. It will be short. You’ll understand why.

Ask almost any parent what their greatest fear is, and it is the loss of a child or grandchild before their time, dying before they do. Our kids and grandkids are supposed to be burying us someday. It doesn’t always work out that way.

My sons are fine. Both are into their fourth decade of life; one is married with one grandson, and the other is engaged to a wonderful young woman. We love working with them on the plans for their wedding next year—such joy. My wife and I have long dreamed of these days over our 40 years together.

My oldest son and his wife gave birth to a new grandson on May 22nd. They named him Jameson Kelly Johnston, in part after me. I was touched and honored. And by all appearances, he was the perfect child. He was the most well-behaved infant I’ve ever seen. Such a beautiful child, given to sudden smiles and gentle cooing. Such joy!

And we were thrilled that so many of my family, including my 87-year-old mother, could meet and hold this bundle of happiness and gift from God.

And he’s gone.

I won’t go into the specifics of his tragic death last week out of respect for my son and his family. I cast no blame. We love our son and daughter-in-law and grieve with them. We are angry only at circumstances and the insurmountable loss. We grieve deeply. He will be buried tomorrow in a beautiful historic cemetery in the shadows of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. If you can and are willing, please pray that God will embrace us with His peace that surpasses all understanding. We need it. We are grateful to have wonderful family, friends, and a great church at a time like this.

We know Jameson is in the embrace of a loving and merciful God, and we look forward to reconnecting with him.

This is so painful. My son had great visions of his two sons (and future ones) growing up with the same special memories and relationships he shared with his younger brother. Instead, today, he’s picking out clothes for his body in a special casket built by one of his best friends and carpenter from Pennsylvania.

Many other parents know this feeling, especially Gold Star mothers and fathers of young men and women who died in service, never fulfilling their hopes and promises of a future full of life, spouses, children, and grandchildren. I understand now.

But I will let you know this and ask that you let anyone you know who has an infant, is about to give birth, or is thinking about wanting an infant. From HealthyChildren.org:

This is important. Newborn moms (and dads) are sleep-deprived. The tendency to fall asleep in bed with nursing children is overwhelming. And yet, it remains the leading cause of non-natural infant death. Some 3,500 infants die each year in the USA as a result of “unsafe sleep,” whether SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) or a sleep-deprived mom rolling over on top of her child and suffocating them.

So tragic, so preventable.

So, please check out this fabulous website for important advice preventing you from doing what we are dealing with this weekend. If we can save a life, it will ease our suffering.

You don’t want to know what it’s like to lose a child or grandchild this way.