Stanford Performs a Sanity Check
Gurus at this vaunted institution went on the warpath to fight insanely stupid and offensive language. They have done mankind a favor with their seminal work.
Satire.
Greybeards at Sanford, pow-wowing after several grueling months, have gone gangbusters to clean up offensive language. Their ballsy new report, “The Elimination of Harmful Language Initiative,” is a veritable master list of offensive words.
This initiative, no blind review or study, takes a stab at words any normal person should find troublesome. They have pulled the trigger and taken their best shot in a way all Americans should find a cakewalk to follow. No word or phrase was grandfathered or exempted from this cracking of the whip to whitewash insensitive words and terms. No freshmen were part of this project, as best I can tell.
This white paper will convict any prisoner of outdated words and phrases without beating a dead horse. Hopefully, it will help those addicted to an abusive relationship with crazy terms to abort their manmade inclinations. Those who spaz out and are tempted to circle the wagons in defense of such word use may find themselves relegated to the peanut gallery. Nobody should want a black mark on their career.
This is no tarbaby. Any dumb hillbilly with lousy language can be a survivor.
Following basic rules of thumb, Stanford’s language red team (after all, they are “The Cardinal”) sold no one down the river in their cause to whitelist acceptable words and phrases. Hopefully, they will be able to hold down the fort against the inevitable mocking from uppity hicks they are sure to face.
There may be more than one way to skin this cat, but they chiefly killed it here. Think you can blackball this noble effort? No can do!
Congratulations, Stanford, from this grateful American.