Satire: Biden Promises Thousands of Pardons Along with Hunter's
Biden goes on the offense to defend his son and his personal "honor." Is this how Joe Biden spins a pardon of his son, Hunter? Satire alert.
This hasn’t happened. At least yet. Pray that it doesn’t.
BIDEN ADDRESSES THE NATION FROM THE OVAL OFFICE, LIVE, ROADBLOCK BROADCAST TELEVISION AND CABLE COVERAGE
8 P.M. TUESDAY, AUGUST 1, 2023
THE PRESIDENT:
My fellow Americans, if there’s anything many of us know, it is injustice. A young man, or a parent, being pulled over because of the color of their skin or who they’re related to, coming from the wrong side of the tracks. I’ve seen it and heard your stories.
I’m no stranger to it, either. In my case, a child is being singled out because his father happens to be the President of the United States during a presidential campaign.
My son, Hunter, has led a troubled life. His mother was killed by a drunk truck driver in an accident that almost killed him when he was a young boy. Thank God Jill entered our lives as she stepped up as his mother. How wonderful she has been, an inspiration to us all.
Later, as an adult, as many others have experienced, he was trapped in alcohol and drug addictions. He made poor decisions. He recovered, and I’m so proud of him and his recovery. He’s been clean for almost four years.
But that’s not good enough for MAGA Republicans in Congress, who are using my son to attack me personally and politically. They’re dredging up Hunter’s international business engagements that thousands of Americans conduct daily, from serving on boards of international companies to creating businesses that provide value to Americans and consumers worldwide.
What MAGA Republicans are doing is despicable and reprehensible. And their attack on my son is an attack on every American who has experienced or faces incarceration for their mistakes, whether over marijuana or other minor drug possession or another legal violation.
As many of you know, I had two sons, including Beau, who died from brain cancer from his exposure to burn pits in Iraq years ago. Pause. I still miss him. His tragic death left a massive void in all our lives.
My son, Hunter, is a proud Navy veteran. And I’m fed up with the attacks on him and many other Americans who have made mistakes and now live with the consequences of political persecution or unfair treatment from law enforcement and our legal system.
Therefore, I have the following announcement to make.
First, I am tonight issuing a complete and unconditional pardon on Hunter and every member of my family to insulate them from unfair attacks from MAGA Republicans in Congress.
Second, I have directed the Attorney General and the Department of Justice to identify everyone with a conviction for a similar crime my son has been politically accused of, from false statements on gun applications to minor tax law violations, so that I may also extend pardons to them. Everyone deserves a second chance.
When you walk up to the US Supreme Court, which I’ve done many times, you are greeted by these words above their entrance: Equal Justice Under Law.
Today, we apply equal justice to anyone on par with any violations my son has experienced but has been singled out for political reasons. MAGA Republicans can come after me all they want. But leave my family out of it.
Issuing these pardons may take a while. I’ve directed the Department of Justice to begin the laborious process of identifying candidates for pardons. No doubt we will hear from many of them. Our justice system is imperfect, not always equal, and sometimes slow. But I will ensure it is fair to all.
So while this pardon only deals specifically with Hunter and my family, you have my commitment that hundreds, if not thousands, of pardons for similar alleged crimes, will follow.
God bless America, and God bless our system of justice.